As you continue dating someone, you learn more about them. You grow to understand their quirks, their voice, how they work, and ultimately who they are as a person. While many people are perfect for an individual’s personality or ideals, others are not. Dating is hard because there are so many different personalities that can cause us to feel lost in what we should be looking for. It’s even harder when the other person isn’t willing to work with you through your problems and instead takes advantage of your kindness.
Dating a narcissist can quickly turn into an emotional roller coaster. A narcissist is someone who not only lacks empathy but thrives on control—both in their significant other and in themselves. Their self-centered and self-serving intentions for loving someone can quickly destroy even the most stable of relationships. If you’ve been in a relationship with a narcissist, you know honest empathy is non-existent where they are concerned. They seek to place themselves on an imaginary pedestal while looking down upon their significant other as unworthy of their time.
What are the characteristics of a narcissist?
When dating a narcissist, there are many characteristics to be aware of—some of which you might not even notice at first. To some degree or another, they all share some similar traits. Understanding these traits is one way to identify what narcissistic qualities to look for when dating someone new:
1.) They lack empathy in everyday conversations.
A narcissist has a hard time holding a conversation in which they cannot talk about themselves or how they feel. For this reason, you might notice the topic of the conversation always circles back to them and their point of view on every subject. Understanding that empathy is not something that comes naturally for all people is one way to understand how empathy plays a role when dating someone. It isn’t easy to be empathetic in every conversation, but when you are dating someone who has no empathy for their significant other’s feelings, it can become difficult to move forward in your relationship.
2.) They have an abundance of confidence that is sometimes shaken by rejection.
One thing narcissists are good at is convincing you they are invincible. It’s easy to ignore their flaws when they present themselves as someone who has everything under control, but this confidence can quickly become overly inflated and even shaken by rejection. Before dating a narcissist, it is important to understand that not every person is perfect—and someone who relies on their perfection to be loved by someone else might have a hard time dealing with someone who says no.
3.) They are quick to blame others when they have done something wrong.
Just like lack of empathy, this narcissistic behavior can easily take you by surprise at the beginning of your relationship. Narcissists are good at putting up a front that makes them appear as someone who is deserving of love—and they are quick to blame others when they have done something wrong. If you are dating a narcissist, it might be hard to stay positive when faced with constant disappointments.
4.) They believe they know what’s best for you—instead of allowing you to make your own decisions.
One thing a relationship should be based on is trust and allowing one another to have a say in their lives. A narcissist sees things differently, which is why it can be hard for them to agree on decisions with you. They might try to control the relationship from the beginning by convincing you they know what’s best for you without even taking your opinion into consideration. While this can seem wonderful at first, it is another narcissistic trait that can hold your relationship back. Dating a narcissist might be a long-term mistake if you let them control your life for the first few months.
5.) They have a tendency to lie or withhold information from those they have feelings for.
Narcissists will lie to whoever they believe they need to in order to get what they want. It is hard for them to open up and be honest with others because it makes them feel vulnerable. Only after being let down by something another person has said or done will you realize you were lied to about the whole thing.
6.) They are afraid of being rejected.
Narcissists are very sensitive when it comes to the subject of rejection. This is why they work hard to keep their feelings away from other people in fear that they will be turned down. Dating someone who is narcissistic can make you feel like no matter how close you might become, there will always be something in the way.
7.) They have a hard time expressing themselves when they are excited about something.
Narcissists are good at convincing others they are not phased by things that excite other people. When you first meet someone who is narcissistic, it might be hard to pick up on this behavior because they are very convincing when wanting to hide their true feelings. But there will come a time when you realize the person in front of you is struggling with something that would be exciting to any other person in the world.
8.) They are charming, but not when it comes to expressing their feelings.
Having an amazing time with someone you love is important in order for dating them to work out in the long run. However, people who are narcissistic can struggle with showing how excited they are about something. This is because they have a hard time being open about their feelings. This can be disappointing when you are looking forward to the next step in your relationship.
9.) They are unable to handle conflict.
Dating someone who is narcissistic might be difficult for anyone who isn’t good at avoiding confrontation. Confrontation is part of life no matter who you’re with and it is important for a relationship to be able to handle some sort of conflict along the way. Narcissists will throw temper tantrums when their feelings are hurt. This is another reason why they might seem difficult to date in the beginning stages of a relationship.
10.) They have their own interests but will show an amazing amount of interest in yours.
Narcissists are good at hiding their feelings, which means they could easily show an amazing amount of support for your goals without actually feeling the same way about them. Not everyone’s feelings need to match, but it can be difficult to tell if someone is being honest about what they care about. When dating a narcissist, it might become hard to see if they are there for you or just there because of what you can offer them.
11.) They like getting attention but will not return the favor.
Narcissists crave attention and admiration from others, which is why dating one might seem like a great idea at first. But once they have your attention, they will not put in much effort when it comes to getting yours. Make sure you are dating someone who cares about your feelings and isn’t just using you for attention whenever they get the chance.
12.) They love having conversations with people but can become bored easily.
Dating a narcissist might seem amazing at first because of how easy it is to talk to them. However, they cannot handle having conversations that last very long. A narcissist might only be able to hold a conversation for so long before they become bored, which can make it hard to keep up with someone who has an active lifestyle.
13.) They are good at making others feel special but do not accept compliments themselves.
People who are narcissistic do not respect themselves, which is why they will not return the favor when it comes to compliments. They can seem like great people when they want to charm someone into getting what they want… But their true colors might show later on in the relationship because of how difficult it is for them to handle criticism or negative feedback.
14.) They are always on the lookout for someone who is better than them.
Narcissists will find ways to make themselves feel better by putting other people down, which is why dating one might seem exhausting at first. A narcissist will not be able to handle your success in life because it makes them feel bad about their own life. And having to deal with someone who has that kind of attitude can be incredibly frustrating.
15.) They do not like sharing the spotlight.
Narcissists will either take over a room and make it all about them or they will suddenly disappear and refuse to help when something big is going on. If you are dating a narcissist, you will not be able to depend on them when you need help or attention.
16.) They will initially value relationships but quickly lose interest.
Narcissists will make an effort to charm you before they get what they want out of your relationship. Once it is clear that the person they are dating is no longer as useful, narcissistic individuals will leave and find somebody else who can benefit them. This might be upsetting at first because narcissists do not seem like bad people. But, their inability to handle relationships and be there for other people is something that should be taken into consideration before dating somebody who is narcissistic.
What should you know if you’re dating a narcissist?
You might not know if someone you’re seeing has narcissistic personality disorder without a formal diagnosis, but there are some traits that can indicate that the person you’re going out with or just met might have NPD. Here is what it’s like in the beginning.
A narcissist is likely to charm you with compliments and flattery at first—but as soon as they get what they want, the praise might end. If you’re dating somebody who does not care about what you have to say or seems like they could care less about your feelings, it is a possibility that this person has narcissistic tendencies.
Dating somebody who is narcissistic can be difficult because they are used to getting what they want in their relationships. This means you might not get the same amount of affection or attention that you’re looking for. If your partner constantly makes you feel like you’re nothing compared to them, it is best to take a step back and reevaluate your relationship.
It is important to pay attention to the way that your date treats you in the beginning because this will give you a glimpse into how they might act once you get more serious. If they are insincere or only interested in what you have to offer, it is probably best to cut ties and look for somebody who respects their partner. If you’re dating someone who seems like they are worth the effort, it is probably best to talk about your concerns rather than accept this behavior.
What it is like dating a narcissist?
People who are dating a narcissist might feel frustrated with the relationship because of how self-centered their partner is. If you’re not getting the support that you need from somebody you love, it is time to take a step back and reevaluate your relationship. It is important to be able to handle criticism in a healthy way so that both people in a relationship can grow and feel comfortable talking about their feelings.
Emotional abuse in relationships is a major problem that can cause serious damage to somebody’s sense of security—and it is important for people in abusive relationships to take a step back and end things before the situation becomes worse. The best way to avoid being abused in your relationship is to identify the warning signs and stick to somebody who makes you feel like an equal.
If you notice that your partner is constantly envious of others or does not handle criticism well, it might be time to reevaluate the relationship. Narcissistic behavior can make it hard for other people in a relationship to thrive—which means that both parties should try to see the best in each other and not just what they expect.
Conclusion
When you’re dating somebody who is narcissistic, it can be difficult to know how to handle their behavior because of how self-absorbed they are. If somebody does not have a healthy sense of self or respect for somebody else’s boundaries, it might be better to let go.
Thank you for reading! Learn more about what it is like dating someone with anxiety too.
